a change in URL

RELINK ME AT : http://-eversoindecisive.blogspot.com/
passwrd REMOVED! =]

cause i shld open all my point of views.
LOVE OR HATE MY STYLE!
cant be bothered of how others condemn me =]
yeah ~

i dont wish to regret anymore cause it hurts

i just cldnt stop thinking of it. well well i am really scared now! got a news tht my grandma gotta go for a treatment next week onwards. if i'm not wrong is a chemo or smth. she gotta go for six to eight times, the period is four to six mths and each treatment cost four to five thousands! its not the money tht matters but its a health. she alrdy gone through so many sufferings, i am wondering why cant GOD just spare her this time and ya.. i dont know why i will say this, but i just cldnt bear to see her in pain anymore.. my heart hurts and it really really hurts! and guess wht? she dont even know tht she've a cancer!! i mean it she DONT KNOW A FCUKING SINGLE THING! i find it really bad to hide it frm her.. but wht can we do? i swear she wont be able to take it whn she knows tht truth and it gotta be horrible if she knows the fact.. i dont know how to explain hre but to keep in short she's so so not strong to know the truth! now i am thinking if i shld just quit sch or smth, i cldnt concentrate on my studies. and i just hope i cld start working and earn money and help out with my uncle's financial. yupps no fear to admit my uncles are all rich but how long can their financial last? its so not the case tht they will go rich forever like sighs i dont know how to explain.. forget it!

i am so scared tht she's unable to take the treatment for long as it will be really really PAIN! her hair will drop or smth. i am so so SCARED! -cries- i am feeling so lost, clueless and confused right now! time by time i gotta see her suffering and unable to do anything to let her pain go away. i am such a total failure! i am not a GOOD GRAND-DAUGHTER!

SIGHS~

i dont wish to regret anymore cause it hurts

i dont wish to regret anymore cause it hurts

boo! i am back. haha. waited for this day for so so long. well finally first week of sch has ended. hmm hmm shld i say not bad? or shld i just say is totally so not like sch? wht i say tht? cause its like ytd its so so fun and today turned out to be so stressful. not very into this kinda of modes. cause i rather i will be so so stress thn you know. you can say i am weird but i guess its better to be in tht way. so you wont feel so restless and thinking wht will tmrw be like. those kinda of stuffs. rahhs shall not talk abt sch cause it makes me feel so so BORED!

well after sch went to meet my mum and headed to geylang to pray. after praying and all we went to j-eight to shop. i bought a new flops! and got some food too. and shopped till five and went home. the moment i got home i changed to my jogging suit and off for my jogging. did a big round as usual and did my fifty sit-ups. wanted to do hundred but i was so dead! haha. so warm up and went home. took a bath - eat a vry light dinner - slacked and cont slacking. haha. got hmwk today so i'm only going to do tmrw. haha. i'm lazy! nahs just tired so i needs a rest after one week. haha. havent been slpin well. woke up every two hrs and tht's horrible! if this cont i swear i'm going to collapse soon. sighs~

its all abt YOU!

i dont wish to regret anymore cause it hurts

a new term started ytd. sch was awesome ytd esp whn i saw my lovely budds =] we were all practically hoping thr will not be any lessons and yupps our wish was granted you know. haha. we had a trip to the national library for some voting stuffs but aint sure wht's exactly is about. so we just get our votes done and off my budds and i went to bugis for our shopping since we still got so much time left before dismissal. walked ard and decided to go to the food court to sit dwn. we talked and laugh alot! was super hilarious whn we are practically disturbing each other. haha. so we went for lunch at youshinoya at abt eleven. ate - crap - gossip - laugh - off we went back for our attendance marking before dismissal. and we're dismissed at twelve fifteen. walked to the station together and went seperate ways. i was with angie and jessica. so since thr's some time and we so so not wishing to go home. we shopped for awhile and went home after tht cause i needs to go dwn to the hospital. so we went to took a train and smth funny happen thr. angie nearly cldnt get into the train so i was pulling her and a guy got a shock. haha. we kept laughing and laughing. was rather embarrassing but who cares! i alight before thm and headed to orchard to visit my grandma. was thr till two thirty and off i went home. got home and get my stuffs done.

today was alright. sch was rather hmm boring? but we still have fun. some intro to the new subjects and i'm so stressed out. only the second day of sch and i am going mad! we didnt have lessons mind you but the way those tchers talk and kept focusing on gd results and blahs. i can tell you we're all so so STRESS! nvm guys another four mths to go. lets ENDURE and get ovr this alright? =] dismissed at eleven fourty five and headed home. reached home and had my lunch and surf the net and went to slp for two hrs. woke up - bathe - dinner and my day cont. and now i'm going off cause its time to do so.

ONE YR TEN MTHS AND TWENTY-TWO DAYS =]

i dont wish to regret anymore cause it hurts

sch officially starts tmrw
a new term a new beginning?
oh wht-so-ever
not bothered

well i rec'd a super touching testimonial frm lucius
i am so touched till i nearly cry
sounds weird? silly? crazy?
who cares right? haha
but still thanks alot lucius
a great friend like you will not be so easily forgotten too! -PROMISE-
of all the guys budds
i love him the most only as a FRIEND!
MY SUPER MR NICE GUY MR GENTLEMEN!

alright i going to get my butts off hre now
so ciaoz!

i dont wish to regret anymore cause it hurts

before i start blogging i wish to say thanks to both lucius and danica. thanks so much for listening to my troubles ytd. esp lucius he talked to me for nearly an hr. non-stop chatting abt tht matter. said some wrds tht i think i really do some deep thinkings. like wht he said dont frighten myself with all the WHT IF(s) and those wrds tht those older generations passed dwn or smth. well i did think alot ytd night before slping. all i cld say is its easier to be said thn to be done. but still a truckloads of thank to lucius! thanks boy and really thanks =] and danica too she said things tht really woke me up and felt kind of better. all i cld say is the both of them understands wht i've said and they gave me all their care and concern. wht else can i say other thn the wrd thanks right? =]

alright went out with dan today. accompany her to ntuc to get her class chalet stuffs. and her class chalet is so luxurious tht you just hope tht you're part of them okays? haha. thr's so many food and so many meals. haha. all gd food pls. so envy! i dont envy cause of their class chalet but envy cause they can enjoy for six whole mths. darn! nahs just kidding. after getting all the stuffs we went to her hse to rest for awhile. headed dwn to town and did our shoppings. fareast-wisma-coffee beans for dinner-paragon to get her hp repaired-back to fareast-amk-now i am HOME! a fun day. just tht i cldnt stop thinking of so many things. but it was her tht make my day to a diff one. thanks dandan! i bought a green belt. like finally i got smth i really like for this holidays. haha. sounds stupid? yes stupid cause i didnt really have a proper shopping throughout this one mth of holidays. rahhs!

sch starting on mon. i am so not looking fwd to it and i might not even attend sch. -SIGHS LOUDLY-

i dont wish to regret anymore cause it hurts

LMAO! i am super shocked by all those losers pls. haha. all they know is to ask and compare how gd they are. and whn they win they will just say : "i didnt put in lots of effort so i think i still did quite badly". oh pls pls stop the act. cause its so darn fake! and whn they did badly they will say : "sighs many things happen to me during tht period tht's why i did so badly" and all the excuses came out. oh my goodness. just admit tht you didnt study hard enough can. for me i admit i didnt study hard enough during the exams period tht's why i did so so badly. but i learn frm my mistakes and i am going to study double hard the next round. i am not disappointed with the grades i got cause i believe i deserve it. and yes i am going to say this out loud : "i cant get into a poly anymore and also i've no more confidence so thrfore i am not aiming for it!" now i will do my very best in the coming semester and get a HNitec cert and off i go to lead my another stage of life. which is working and maybe get a private O level cert or maybe i will start my two yrs in ite agn. well i am still deciding cause my parents did asked me to work and serve my two yrs of bonding in ntuc before i make any decision. well shld i or shldnt i? was actually thinking of studying first thn serve my bonding yrs. but comes to think of it, it doesnt make any sence. cause i need money to pay for my sch fees and blahs. so i guess i shld really serve first and decide and get wht i wish to be done.

now i am really happy you know cause some of my juniors have finished their Os. today they will be going to fly up high i tell you. haha. heyys KAT DAN LUCIUS : we must must meet up i dont care. haha. you guys owe me a day alright? i miss you guys super much till i am going to scream out loud! rahhs rahhs rahhs! haha i am happier thn them i guess. LOLS!

okays tht's all
ciaoz~

i dont wish to regret anymore cause it hurts

alright finally the evening has come. oh lame! i was super happy ytd alright cause i manage to go shopping. went bugis with my cousin evelyn. she got her long wanted bag and i got my stuffs too. i bought a pair of purple flops and lin junjie's cd and also many many food. haha. we shopped till nearly four and headed dwn to the hospital. and i am like a regular thr now. the doctors and nurses recognise me. haha. sounds funny whn they say hi to me. haha. maybe its a good sign cause i will get gd treatment services and blahs if i admit hospital one day. haha. my grandma is getting better except she will get weak a little and have mood swings sometime. rather scary whn she's like this you know. cause she will just scold you even you are talking to her. but its alright i dont bear any grudges against her cause i understand the pain she is in.

sch starting on next mon. and i am not willing to go to sch. haha. i havent enjoy myself yet and wht shld be done isnt done. ytd i saw tons of nice stuffs at bugis. but smth hold me back frm buying. haha. i am going back soon after i got enough funds. haha. the things thr are super nice and pretty!

my mind is all abt you*

i dont wish to regret anymore cause it hurts

one yr ten mths and sixteen days
a journey tht is neither long nor short
but every single things tht happen between us
will not be forgotten

the tears we shed
the anger we vent
the laughter we had
the smile we brighten each other day
the heart-to-heart talk

i love you for all i know
cause you're the one whom i cant forgot
and i've no fear to admit
my feelings for you nvr fade
even though i was in a relationship for the last two times
cause you hold a place in my heart

you've been the best companion to me
for the good times or bad times
you're always the first to know
cause i know
you'll nvr fail frm bringing me up whn i'm dwn
and nvr fail frm bring more laughters whn i am happy

for now i wants to let you know tht
you will nvr be forgotten

DONT ASK ME WHO'S THIS PERSON IS CAUSE I WILL NOT DISCLOSE TO ANYONE. NOT EVEN THT PERSON! THKS =]

i dont wish to regret anymore cause it hurts

INDECIVIVE ;
SERXZ
-seventeen-
19.o6.86

adeline
beehong
christine
danica
dillys
eng peng
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hwee en
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liping
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philo
rachel
rowena
simone
shileen
vina
vivien
wentheng
xiangwei
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April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005